The irony is we put on a masks, preserve social distancing and keep away from shaking palms due to the pandemic however when a Muslim girl avoids handshaking for private or non secular causes, the hypocrisy jumps out.
– Oyinkansola Fadiji
Statement: A particular or clear expression of one thing in speech or writing. E.g I’m a Muslim girl and I don’t shake non-relative males.
Complicated: Consisting of many interconnecting components or parts; intricate. E.g “if you do it, will you die”? It is completely disrespectful for anybody to ask this after they’ve been instructed one’s religion doesn’t allow them to do that.
What actually is the obsession with touching and shaking palms with individuals who have little interest in doing so with you? Hugging folks that don’t need to hug you? Where is the understanding that tolerance is guarding the precise of different folks while exerting yours? Why will we tilt extra in direction of pressure than understanding? Where does the refusal to evolve go away us all? Where is the activism in in search of the rights of some and denying that of others? When we make conclusions like “niqabis” haven’t any proper to training as a result of they’ve their face partially lined”, how is it any completely different from “blacks have no right to education because of the colour of their skin”? I imply we’re progressive till we’re not. What is that this energy another person’s alternative has on the fragility of our ego? Why is NO thought-about offensive, inadequate, insufficient? WHO advises that we cease shaking palms, that we put on a masks and maintain a social distance due to the pandemic. The irony is we put on a masks, preserve social distancing and keep away from shaking palms due to the pandemic however when a Muslim girl avoids handshaking for private or non secular causes, the hypocrisy jumps out.
I imply it have to be the audacity of the responder. The shock of who is that this girl to not shake palms with me? We know that forceful penetration is rape. But what does one name a compelled handshake? A compelled hug? Or a compelled kiss? In my opinion, unwillingness is the frequent denominator whatever the motion. And as such, it’s simply as shameful, as debasing and as ugly as rape. And that is how we unintentionally encourage rape tradition. Everyone ought to have the autonomy of their our bodies and their components. Everyone’s physique autonomy needs to be inviolable. I ought to be capable of unilaterally resolve who I give entry to my physique and who I don’t. If I say I don’t shake palms with the other intercourse, the suitable response isn’t why? The solely legitimate response is to RESPECT this.
But I’ve heard laughable responses like “It means your friendship is conditional If your male pals can’t shake you“. My query thus is, what’s unsuitable with conditional? For even God’s love is conditional; topic to monotheism. University admission is conditional; topic to assembly the necessities. The very function to which all this unfolded is conditional; topic to having fulfilled the necessities.
We know that forceful penetration is rape. But what does one name a compelled handshake? A compelled hug? Or a compelled kiss? In my opinion, unwillingness is the frequent denominator whatever the motion. And as such, it’s simply as shameful, as debasing and as ugly as rape.
– Oyinkansola Fadiji
“It is the law”. Well, I shall go away the controversy of the existence of mentioned regulation to constitutional juggernauts. What I nevertheless need to say on the matter is borrowed from St. Augustine who as soon as mentioned “An unjust regulation is not any regulation“. Keeping it a buck, it was the regulation at a while to kill twins within the South-south area of Nigeria. And individuals who owned slaves weren’t breaking any identified legal guidelines at some interval in historical past. Segregation was additionally the regulation at some interval in some international locations. I cite these legal guidelines as a result of they had been ultimately upturned to cater for a multi-dimensional society supposed to foster inclusiveness and unity. If certainly, that is the regulation, then it needs to be revised to suit the peculiarity of our society; a multi-religious society.
Every 4 years, we swear in a brand new president. It is the popularity, train and respect of religion that informs giving them the selection to decide on the holy guide they want to swear by. This follow isn’t completely different within the courtroom of regulation. An accused particular person, regardless of the crime he could also be standing trial for is accorded comparable respect. Does it thus beg to ask why erudite males who’re supposedly accountable for moulding society primarily based on information will willfully deny me my rights? And will accomplish that disrespectfully and debasingly? In a Federal government-funded establishment at that? As a younger lady, I attended secondary faculty with boys who wore cornrows as a result of their dad and mom and them on the time, had been Sango worshippers. There had been additionally boys with huge dreadlocks as a result of their religion required them to not put a blade to their head. The doorways of studying weren’t shut to them. They had been welcomed regardless of their religion. In my opinion, that is non secular intolerance exemplified.
As a Muslim girl, once I say I don’t shake palms with males who aren’t household, it’s offensive to check me to identified terrorists. My resolve/motion places nobody in danger, has not and won’t endanger lives. Comparing me to Boko-Haram is depraved dishonesty contemplating that as a thirty-two-year-old, I began getting western training formally once I was six months previous. Insinuating that faith doesn’t matter a lot to me for finding out science is a show of ignorance on the topic as Islamic civilization paperwork many Muslims whose names I solely know have courted, studied and practised science. From astronomy to arithmetic to medication. From Ibn al-Haytham to Al-Biruni to Ibn-Sina.
In the current day, many famend Muslim scientists maintain finding out, educating and practising science; In medication and in life sciences, globally and nationally. From Tipu Aziz to Rozina Ali to Hina Shahid to Adeleke Monsuru to Mogaji Hammed. And simply why are we in Nigeria and worrying about what a hypothetical white man I’ve but to fulfill will assume if he arrives and I refuse to shake palms with him. To give credit score the place due, nobody respects and disrespects civil liberties like a white man. Fortunately, I’ve identified solely the inhabitants that does. The few occasions I’ve gotten racially slurred at, it was not by a white particular person. No white man has ever prolonged his palms to me seeing that I don a hijab. Alas! they’re taught this as a part of ethics in line with the Princeton web site. Considering we’re a society that copies a lot, that’s one thing we should always completely copy.
I’ve all the time puzzled about the kind of particular person I need to be. From the mundane to the intense, I’ve usually contemplated. I do know I need to achieve success, I would like wealth, I need to be revered for doing kickass science. But the precise kind of particular person I need to be, I didn’t fairly determine past being good. And I truthfully really feel it’s a good place to start out.
However, the ugly ambush that was the spotlight of what’s a memorable day purported me to outline to a T who I actually need to grow to be. Regardless of the place I could settle. The particular person I need to be, the particular person I’ll maintain striving to be, is somebody who by no means ever denies the rights of others. I need to create areas the place every thing, particularly variations are revered. My proper, as that of everybody, ends the minute exacting mine/yours denies that of the opposite. When I die, I need to be remembered as standing for one thing. I would like my tombstone to learn Oyinkansola; we knew the place she stood. And standing for what is correct, singly, can’t make it unsuitable.
Oyinkansola Fadiji is a cage rattler; a purr lady who’s most at peace with donning pants, residing unassumingly and being a nomad.